But at some point each has precipitated melody being in control and confronting emotions, learning to control them. I’ve learned how I react, I know better what to expect. Subsequent brainwashing sessions have been characterised by less intense versions of this effect. The energy required to maintain those levels of emotional intensity is enormous and after three or four days it ran out and melody was able to relinquish sole control.
#Emotional malody free#
She revelled in being set free but was far from being in control of those emotions. The first time was frightening in the intensity of all those emotions and unlike for him, there is no ground to earth.
#Emotional malody full#
The way these mental bruises initially manifested was by unleashing the restraints on melody and pumping her full of emotions. It may well be fair to say that it creates mental and psychological bruises that need to be subsumed and healed. However, bruises and welts created at the event have a life of their own over subsequent days until they are subsumed in to the healed flesh.Īnd that’s about the best physical analogy I can spin for the mental processes after a brainwashing session. A caning might be considered a single contained event, too. The sensory deprivation and the physical challenges as well as the mental pounding are all too easy to consider as a single contained event. It’s easy to see the brainwashing sessions as something just in the moment. I’m sure that the normal hypnosis sessions had laid groundwork and over a long time would have created similar effects, albeit more subtly and gently. The jump start to at least part of me becoming an emotional being was the start of the brainwashing sessions a year ago. That’s not to say that she isn’t in charge at other times, only that the signals are less obvious. So when emotions touch my conscious it means that they belong to melody and that whilst they exist she is definitely running the amalgamated me. For him, the conduits of emotion have been designed like the grounding to earth of a lightening rod – efficient leakage back to the natural ground state. Mostly I don’t notice this flux but when I do it is because of emotions. The amalgamated me is in constant flux between him her and is gently sliding in her direction after decades of being almost entirely him. Learning to erect the protective barriers takes time and seemingly the longer it takes the more rigid and impenetrable those barriers eventually become. We kind of gave up on each other and became only nodding acquaintances for the longest time.Īs small children we believe we’re the centre of the universe, throw that universe upside down and there’s liable to be emotional incontinence. If there’s one thing that makes melody easier to identify in the swings and roundabouts of daily life it is in the expression of emotions.Įmotion and me have had a rocky relationship over the years. That’s part of a famous line uttered by Bruce Lee in Enter the Dragon.
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